


wicked game

by artemis_west



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angry Sex, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Blackmail, Bondage, Canonical Character Death, Cock Cages, Cock Slut, Cock Warming, Complicated Relationships, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Dominance, Dubious Consent, Enemies, Fucked Up, Hate Sex, Humiliation, Hurt No Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Manipulation, No Fluff, No Romance, Not Happy, Object Insertion, Object Penetration, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Shameless Smut, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, You've been warned, content warning is in the tags, do not read if you think it could be triggering, this is fucked up guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis_west/pseuds/artemis_west
Summary: Seth Gordon antagonizes Neil from the minute he arrives at the Foxhole Court. Neil doesn't want to let it get to him, but Seth makes it impossible.Their rivalry comes to a head with dark threats bordering on violence, and spirals into what becomes a dangerous, wicked game.
Relationships: Seth Gordon/Neil Josten
Comments: 10
Kudos: 117





	wicked game

**Author's Note:**

> hey. so i've always wanted to write at least one seth/neil fic, and ... this is it. it's dark and i tried to include as much of the proper tags as i could think of, so consider that your trigger warning. there is dubious consent but there IS consent, so none of what happens in the following fic is rape. i obviously don't condone rape and i don't ever want to write something like that on purpose, and this isn't a ship that i fully support, but i've always been interested in it for the possibilities. this is just my way of exploring the darkness in two characters and seeing how it plays out. however there are themes that could be upsetting and triggering to people, so if you choose to read this, i am not responsible for whatever reaction you might have. the content warnings are in the tags. 
> 
> i always knew whatever seth/neil fic i wrote would be a hate-fucking thing where they both used each other and there were no real feelings behind it because i think that fits their characters, and i tried to keep it mostly in canon. lemme know what y'all think? did i do it right? idk
> 
> i gladly welcome comments and criticism on this fic! please do let me know if you guys think it's offensive or anything. i definitely did not try to be offensive or upsetting on purpose - i've read this kind of toxic relationship in fiction before, and this is just my interpretation of seth/neil.

The sound of metal on metal echoed through the room as locker doors slammed. Neil used his open door to cover his face, hiding himself from the eyes he knew were on him. 

It was a feeling he’d gotten used to in the last several days since he’d been inducted into the Foxes. They all watched him, especially Andrew and Kevin, but Seth Gordon’s eyes were on him too often for Neil’s liking. Neil knew Seth didn’t like him, and that was fine with him. He didn’t care much for Seth, either. 

He didn’t really care for any of them so far, apart from maybe Kevin. And he didn’t  _ want  _ to care for Kevin, but that felt out of his control. He tried not to think about it. 

Neil couldn’t see his feelings towards any of them changing any time soon. He wasn’t planning to stay long enough to get to know the Foxes. 

But he needed to get Seth to stop looking at him. 

He kept his locker door open for as long as he could, until he clenched his fists and shut it, with a little more force than was necessary. He met Seth’s vitriolic glare evenly. 

“What?” He demanded, and the others still left in the locker room stilled at the tone of Neil’s voice. Allison was touching up her hair in the mirror attached to the inside of her locker door, and she looked at them through the glass. Andrew was tapping his fingers against his locker in a staccato beat, looking bored, but his eyes were on them, too. 

“You think you’re better than all of us, don’t you?” Seth said, taking a step closer to Neil. “I saw it on the court just now. You think you’re too good for this team.”

Neil shrugged, not bothering to answer. Seth wouldn’t believe him regardless of what he said. He didn’t hold himself to Kevin’s standards when he played Exy, and no, he didn’t think he was too good for this team. But that clearly didn’t matter to Seth.

Seth’s jaw clenched, and he took another step forward. 

“Seth,” Kevin warned, his voice sharp. “Don’t.”

Seth stopped, and Neil raised an eyebrow at him. He knew he was egging Seth on, but he couldn’t help it. 

Allison slammed her locker door shut with finality, and Seth turned his head to her. She left the room, swaying her hips as she walked. Seth murmured, “Arrogant fucking prick,” in Neil’s direction and followed her out. He hit Neil’s shoulder with his own as he moved past him. 

“Look who’s causing trouble already,” Andrew remarked, raising an eyebrow at Neil before he left the room, too. Kevin stared at Neil for a long moment before he turned his back and walked out behind Andrew. 

“Welcome to the Foxhole Court, Neil,” his new roommate Matt said with a mild grin. His girlfriend and the team captain, Dan Wilds, gave Neil a sympathetic look. 

“Just try to stay out of Seth’s way,” she advised. “He won’t bother you if you don’t bother him.”

Neil thought that might be difficult, since Seth also lived with him and Matt. 

And if Seth wanted to pick a fight with him, Neil would have no choice but to defend himself. 

*

Neil’s avoidance of Seth worked only for a few days, until one morning a week into his time at Palmetto, he woke up in his dorm at Fox Tower and Matt was gone. 

Leaving him and Seth alone in the room. 

Neil glanced at the bed on the opposite side of the room. Seth was snoring lightly, back turned to him. Quietly, Neil crept down from his top bunk and went into the kitchen for some breakfast. 

Maybe he wasn’t being as quiet as he should have. Maybe he was banging things around on purpose, as payback for last night’s practice, when Seth had tried to run him down on the court as much as possible. And then nearly slammed his locker door on Neil’s fingers. 

Neil had been the victim of many insults and derogatory slights over the last week, to the point where Kevin, Matt, and Coach Wymack all had to intervene. Neil didn’t need or want them to, but he figured it was safer to let them. He wasn’t quite sure what Seth’s real problem with him was, exactly - there was no danger of Neil encroaching on Seth’s relationship with Allison Reynolds (he knew they were broken up right now anyway), and he could see no other reason why Seth would hate him so much. But sometimes, he guessed, people didn’t need a reason to hate someone. It was easy to hate Seth back for his horrible attitude and his constant glare on Neil’s back, anyway.

Neil already knew Seth thought he was cocky, arrogant, and pretentious, though Neil had tried hard not to give off any impressions at all since he’d been introduced to the team. Maybe that was the problem. His standoffish demeanor might’ve been the thing to push Seth.

Whatever the reason, Neil had tried hard to keep out of Seth’s vicinity. He only responded to his roommate’s taunts when Seth got too close to him, or he pushed Neil too far. It felt like Seth got close to him on purpose, just to piss Neil off. 

And he was just about done with it. 

So he knocked dishes together in the kitchen as he got his breakfast ready, ran the garbage disposal in the sink, turned on the TV in the living room and turned the volume up. It was a weekend, which meant Matt was probably out having breakfast with Dan, and Neil didn’t worry about annoying any of their next-door neighbors or the other residents of their hall. He just wanted to annoy Seth. 

Less than two minutes later, Seth stormed out of the bedroom in his boxers, his eyes burning. “I’m trying to fucking sleep.”

“Oh,” Neil said over the TV. He shrugged. “Sorry. I’m an early riser.”

“Turn it the fuck down,” Seth said, hands curling into fists. 

“The remote’s right there,” Neil said, gesturing to the coffee table as he moved away from it and back into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and started taking things out of it to rearrange the shelves, knowing that would annoy Seth even more. Seth had all of his food labeled with his name, so no one else would eat it. Neil had already stolen some of his breakfast sausage. 

The TV abruptly shut off, and Neil heard the remote slam down on the table. He was just shutting the fridge when Seth rammed into him, pushing his body up against the refrigerator door. Seth dug his knee into the back of Neil’s thigh, wrapped a hand around his neck, and put his lips to his ear. 

“I know exactly what you’re doing, you fucking dick,” Seth growled, keeping Neil restrained as he struggled to get away. Panic seized Neil, and his old instincts rose up in him instantly. 

“Let go of me,” he said, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest. He struggled to breathe, but it only made Seth push up against him harder. 

“Cut the bullshit,” he said. “I know you’re faking it. You wanna fuck with me, I’ll fuck you right back, Josten.”

Seth turned him around so Neil’s back was to the fridge, caging him in. He was taller than Neil, and he loomed over him as Neil glared up at him, wondering if he could just knee him hard in the groin and run. 

“Don’t ever touch me like that again,” Neil warned him, his voice cold. Seth’s smile was cruel. 

“Or what?”

“You don’t know what I can do to you.”

Seth leaned in, until his face was uncomfortably close to Neil’s. Neil tried to lean his head back, but he had nowhere to go. 

“I think you should be very afraid of what I can do to you,” Seth said. 

“Just leave me alone, Seth. Stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours.”

“I don’t see that happening.” Seth shook his head, and his nose almost brushed Neil’s. “No. What’s gonna happen is this: if you piss me off again, I’ll find out whatever secrets you’re hiding, and everyone on the team will know.”

Neil went utterly still. 

He couldn’t know. There was no way Seth could know. He’d been so careful. 

“Did you go through my things?” He demanded, his chest tightening. 

“No, but now I know you’ve got something to hide. You’ve been cagey as fuck since the minute I met you, and I don’t like how you clearly think you’re above everyone here.”

“I don’t - ” Neil started to say, but Seth cut him off by squeezing a hand around his throat, almost choking him. 

“Shut the fuck up. You think you’re better than everyone else, just like Day. I can see it all over your fucking face, and I want to beat the shit out of you for it. I will if you do anything else to piss me off.”

“Look, I don’t give a shit what you think about me, but we’re roommates and we have to be teammates, too. So just leave me alone, and I’ll do the same. Stop antagonizing me for no reason. It’s childish and stupid.” Neil put all of his force behind the push he gave him, and then he was free of Seth’s grip. He moved out of his reach as quickly as possible, shaking off the feeling of being trapped and helpless. 

“If you don’t want anyone to know whatever you’re keeping from them, then you’re gonna do exactly as I say.”

Neil almost laughed. “Do you really think you’re in a position to blackmail me?”

“Yeah, I do,” Seth said, watching him carefully. “Because I know whatever you’re hiding is big. I’m not an idiot. All I have to do is tell Coach what I think, and he’ll investigate. And if Andrew thinks you’re a threat to Kevin, you’ll be done here.”

Fear seized Neil’s heart. As much as he didn’t plan on staying here for very long, right now it was his protection. He didn’t know if there was any validity behind Seth’s words - based on the attitudes of his teammates towards him, probably not. But they knew Seth, as much as they didn’t seem to like him. They didn’t know Neil. At all. Seth had been with them for much longer. So if Seth went to the team with his suspicions, it might be enough to put Neil in danger. 

From what Neil knew of Andrew Minyard, he knew Seth was right about that part, at least. If Andrew thought Neil would harm Kevin in any way, his time here would be finished before it started. 

Neil didn’t know if Seth had actually gone through his stuff or not. He was going to check later, and then put as much extra security as he could around it. But paranoia was a nasty monster, and it ate at him. 

He ground his teeth as Seth kept him in a stare down. Seth looked like he knew he’d won, but he wasn’t happy about it. 

“What do you want?” Neil finally asked, biting the words out. 

“Meet me at the court tonight at ten,” Seth said. Without another word, he pushed past Neil, jostling him hard, and went back into the bedroom. “And don’t let me see your face again until then.”

Neil let him go, and waited a few long minutes until his heart had calmed down. He took a deep breath. 

He could handle this, whatever it was. He’d been through worse. He doubted that whatever Seth wanted of him would be worse than what his father had put him through. 

When Neil closed his eyes, he still felt the pressure of Seth’s fingers around his throat. 

*

The court was dark when Neil arrived, and there were no cars in the parking lot. He assumed if Seth was here, he’d walked like Neil. 

Neil hadn’t brought anything with him, but he was armed with words. He was prepared to offer Seth some of his father’s money to back off him and keep quiet. It might just make Seth hate him even more, but Neil was willing to try anything. 

He couldn’t let anyone find out his secrets. 

Seth had left the dorm earlier that day, and as soon as he’d gone, Neil had rushed to his duffel bag to see if anything had been misplaced. Nothing looked touched, but Seth had buried a seed of doubt in him, and it burrowed deep into Neil’s skin. On the off chance that Seth did know anything important, Neil was here. 

The door to the stadium was unlocked, which meant Seth was waiting inside. All the lights were off except the ones in the locker room. Seth leaned against his locker, and his eyes flashed to Neil when he came into sight. He looked at him with such hostility that Neil knew there had to be something deeper involved than what Seth claimed. An attitude alone didn’t inspire such devoted hatred like that, and Neil hadn’t done anything to Seth personally that would’ve made him so angry. He didn’t even know him. 

“What is this about?” Neil was the first one to speak. “Just tell me what you want from me, Seth. Let’s get this over with.”

Seth moved to stand in front of him, and Neil fought the urge to back down. He stood at his full height and met Seth’s eyes. 

“Here’s how this is gonna go,” Seth said quietly. Neil didn’t like the tone of his voice, and something foreboding crawled over his skin. “I know you told everyone when you got here that you don’t swing. But I see the way you stare at Day and Minyard at every practice. Part of you swings, and don’t fucking deny it.” His voice rose when Neil opened his mouth to protest, and Neil flinched when Seth pushed him back against the bank of lockers behind them. Seth crowded up against him. “So if you want your secrets to stay hidden, you’re gonna let me use you however the fuck I want.”

“You’re gay?” Neil asked incredulously. He wondered if Allison knew. 

Seth made a face and wrapped his hand around Neil’s throat, the same way he’d done in the kitchen earlier that day. Neil’s breath shortened. 

“No,” Seth said. His voice was dark and his eyes were haunted, and suddenly Neil understood a whole lot more about Seth Gordon than he cared to. He understood Seth’s reasons for hating him. 

But that wasn’t on him, and he wasn’t going to let Seth blackmail him into using Neil as a sexual experiment. 

“Fuck you,” Neil said harshly, pushing at Seth’s chest as hard as he could. “Get off me. I told you not to touch me like that again.”

Seth didn’t let up on his hold. He shoved his knee between Neil’s thighs, and Neil gasped. Seth’s smile was cold. 

“Yeah, that’s right. I think you know who’s in charge here.”

“So you’re gonna rape me if I don’t do what you say? I think that might put me more in the team’s favor than you, no matter what you think.”

“I’m not a rapist,” Seth said, his teeth bared. 

“You’re acting like one.”

Suddenly, Seth let Neil go and shoved him away. Neil stumbled but he caught himself and moved half the room apart from Seth, glaring at him. 

“I have money,” Neil ground out, already regretting the words. Once Seth knew this about him, it couldn’t end well. “How much do you want to never speak to me or touch me again?”

Seth just stared at him for a second, and then he laughed, not in a nice way. “I fucking knew you were a shady bastard. What, you on the run or something? Trying to hide from someone?”

Neil never expected Seth to be so intuitive. He needed to stop underestimating people. When he didn’t answer, Seth grinned at him like a shark. His eyes were cold as ice. 

“At least now I know what you’re really hiding,” Seth said. “Wonder what Coach will think of this?”

“Don’t,” Neil said. “Please.”

Seth shrugged carelessly, leaning back against the lockers with his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. “You know what you have to do if you want me to keep silent.”

“This is rape, Seth. Blackmail and coercion is still rape.”

“You want it, though,” Seth said, and then he looked pointedly at Neil’s crotch. 

Neil hadn’t even realized he was hard, and he hated that he was. He blamed it on Seth’s proximity earlier, his knee between Neil’s thighs. It was an automatic reaction. Neil hadn’t touched anyone or even thought about anyone like that in years - his mother had done her best to beat any desire for people out of him, and it never occurred to him that he would want to hook up with anyone on the run after that. He definitely couldn’t think about any of the Foxes like that. It would only end badly for all of them. 

He hadn’t been lying when he told Andrew and the others that he didn’t swing. He didn’t. Maybe he hadn’t really thought about it much before because it didn’t matter, but even if he did swing, it wouldn’t be for anyone like Seth Gordon. 

“You got too close to me,” Neil said, taking a step back and turning away from Seth so he wouldn’t keep looking at the bulge in Neil’s sweatpants. “I haven’t been with anyone like that, and if and when I do, it sure as fuck won’t be with you.”

“Hmm,” Seth said. “You’re a virgin. I bet if I fucked you, you’d turn out to be a dirty little slut.”

Neil’s face flushed with embarrassment. “Shut up.”

“I’d be rough. I bet you like it rough.”

“Shut the fuck up, Seth.”

“You want it,” he said, his eyes burning. “I know you do.”

Neil wished he didn’t have hormones then. He wished he was a sexless robot, devoid of all feeling and emotion, and he wished his biological makeup didn’t betray him. It was Seth’s intensity, the heat of his glare and the low tone of his voice, combined with the strong feelings he inspired in Neil, bad or not. This was the worst time for Neil to be making these new discoveries about himself, and he wanted to kill Seth for it. 

He had no reason whatsoever to be attracted to Seth. He wasn’t ugly on the surface - Neil had eyes, even if he didn’t use them for that purpose - but his personality made him unattractive. At least, it should’ve. Neil didn’t know why this was happening, why Seth’s anger and taunting were making him hard when it shouldn’t have. He resented his body and the way it worked. He resented everything about this situation, and he was terrified because he couldn’t control what his body was doing.

“I hate you,” he said as he turned back to Seth. Seth had moved closer to him, looking angry. 

“Yeah,” Seth said. “The feeling’s mutual.”

Seth leaned in and bit Neil’s lip. 

It wasn’t a kiss, not when Seth wrapped his hand around Neil’s throat again and squeezed lightly, not when he pushed him back up against the lockers and his teeth dug into Neil’s skin. 

Neil put his hands on Seth’s shoulders to shove him away, but Seth kept his hands on Neil’s hips, holding him securely against the lockers. 

“You ready to behave now?” Seth asked, his hand reaching down to squeeze Neil’s cock over his sweatpants. “Gonna be a good little slut for me?”

“Fuck you,” Neil said, even as he hardened more. 

“Look, maybe this’ll be good for you. You can get it out of your system, I can get it out of mine, and we never have to look at each other again. We do it once, maybe a couple times, and it’s done,” Seth said, rubbing his hand slowly over Neil’s crotch. Neil squirmed underneath him, and his skin tingled. 

“A couple times?” Neil asked, his hands tightening on Seth’s shoulders. “You’re fucking insane if you think I’m gonna let you do this to me.”

“Oh, but you are,” Seth said, dipping his head to bite Neil’s neck. Neil gasped when Seth’s hand pulled the band of his sweatpants back and moved down again, over his underwear. “I think you’re gonna let me do whatever I want, and you’re gonna like it.”

Neil had never felt anything like this before in his life - a potent mixture of desire, resentment, hatred and lust made a dangerous cocktail in his veins. Shame colored his cheeks red at his bodily response to Seth’s words. 

And he hated most of all that Seth was right. Maybe he just needed to get it out of his system, and he could forget it had ever happened after Seth was done with him. He could purge it from his memory and he’d never have to deal with Seth again. Because he couldn’t deny what Seth was making obvious right then. It would be a lie.

“I want to hear you say it,” Seth murmured in his ear as he squeezed Neil’s cock over his briefs. “Say yes. Say you want it.”

“I will fucking kill you. You’re a pathetic piece of shit who’s too afraid to admit you’re into men - ” His words were cut off when Seth squeezed him harder this time, and his fingers dug into Seth’s shoulders. 

“Maybe,” Seth said. “But  _ you’re _ too afraid to admit you’re into this. Which one of us is more pathetic, then?”

“Still you,” Neil said. Seth growled and bit Neil’s lip again in punishment. 

“Say the fucking words, Josten.”

Neil knew Seth was only looking for his consent so he could feel better about not being a rapist, and he didn’t want to give it purely out of spite. He wouldn’t give Seth what he wanted, not when he was being forced into it like this.

But the truth was, Neil could make Seth stop anytime he wanted. He knew he had the power to end this. He was strong enough. He knew that and believed it with every fiber of his being.

And he hated every part of himself for it, because he wasn’t making Seth stop.

“Yes,” he said, his stomach sinking. “I want it.”

Seth’s grin wasn’t nice. 

“Good boy.”

Neil knew he’d just sold his soul, and he would never get this piece of himself back.

If he ever did have a partner in the future, they would have to be as much of a monster as he was.

Seth’s hand found its way behind Neil’s underwear and gripped his bare cock, stroking it at a fast, rough pace. Neil couldn’t hold back his moan. Seth’s other hand gripped Neil’s thigh and yanked it up around his waist, and Neil followed with the other leg, until they were both locked around Seth. Seth didn’t kiss him as he jerked him off - this wasn’t about that. Neil knew they would probably never kiss, and he was okay with that. This was only about taking pleasure. 

It was only about relieving the tension, and nothing more. Neil knew they would never stop hating each other. That was how he rationalized it in his head. If they were just using each other, it didn’t matter. 

“I knew you’d be a slut,” Seth said when Neil moaned again at the way Seth rubbed his thumb in fast, hard circles over Neil’s dripping head. “You like this, don’t you?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Abruptly, Seth took his hand away, leaving Neil aching and practically shaking. Seth’s eyes remained cold and unforgiving. 

“You’ve got a mouth on you,” Seth said quietly. “But you’re not gonna use it to talk back.” He put his fingers under Neil’s chin and lifted his face, meeting his hateful glare. “You’re gonna be a good little boy for me, or you know what will happen.”

Neil wanted to spit in his face, but his cock was throbbing, and he needed release. It was the only thing that made him nod. Seth’s smile then was evil, and Neil got a terrible, dark feeling in his chest. 

“If I tell you to call me Daddy, you’ll do it.”

“No. That’s too fucking far, Seth.” Neil recoiled, disgusted. 

Seth shrugged and started to walk away, like he was going to leave Neil there. “Okay.”

“Wait -  _ fuck!”  _ Neil slammed his fist against the locker he was leaning against, angrier than he’d been in a long time. “Fine. Yes.”

Seth raised an eyebrow. “Yes, what?”

Fury and embarrassment mixed together in Neil’s chest. “You’re fucking sick.”

“Say it.”

“Yes,  _ Daddy _ .” Neil spat the words out, despising every letter.

Seth smiled. “That’s more like it. Now come here.” He beckoned with his finger, and Neil went, hating himself with every step. Seth replaced his hand on Neil’s cock and finished him off while Neil stood there, staring at the floor. He shuddered and reached out for something to hold onto when he came, and what he grabbed was Seth’s shirt. His hands fisted in the fabric, and he shut his eyes when he felt himself come, fighting back a whine. It had been . . .a long time since he’d had pleasure like this, and he’d forgotten what it felt like. He hated that it felt so good. He didn’t want it to. 

Seth took his hand out, covered in Neil’s come. It dripped down his fingers as he lifted it to Neil’s face. “Clean me up.”

Neil didn’t look at him as he used his tongue on Seth’s hand. The taste was bitter and musky, but not disgusting. When he was done, Seth put his hands on Neil’s shoulders and pushed him down. 

“On your knees,” he said. Neil went, knowing what was coming next. He’d never done this before, but that didn’t matter to Seth. The other man pushed his pants and underwear down just enough to free his hard, dripping cock. He held it in one hand and put the other hand in Neil’s hair, tugging his head back. “Open wide.”

Neil did without protesting. 

“Whenever you talk back to me, this is what’s gonna happen,” Seth said as he slid his cock into Neil’s mouth, not stopping until it hit the back of Neil’s throat and he almost choked. “I’ll stuff you so full of my cock you’ll feel it for days after.”

Neil gagged as Seth thrust into his mouth. He didn’t move his head as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. Seth glared down at him, watching his cock slide past Neil’s lips. 

“Don’t move,” Seth instructed. “You’re gonna let me fuck your face, and when I come, you will swallow every last drop. Understand?”

Neil hated him so much. But he nodded. 

“Another time, I’ll teach you to suck me off properly. You’re gonna have to work for it. But right now, you’re just a hole to fill.” Seth wasn’t gentle, and Neil gagged and choked more than once, tears running down his face. His fingers dug hard into Seth’s hips, nails leaving indents that Seth didn’t seem to mind. Seth pulled Neil’s hair, hands on either side of his face to keep him steady as he face-fucked him. He came a few minutes later, keeping his cock in Neil’s mouth so Neil would swallow it all. He pulled out slowly, wiping his tip across Neil’s cheek, smearing come there. Some of it spilled out of Neil’s mouth, dripped down his chin. Neil’s jaw was sore and his throat hurt. His knees ached from his position on the floor. He felt dirty, used, and wrong. 

But his body was warm and still felt the echoes of pleasure.

As much as he hated himself, he knew he would keep doing what Seth asked. For as long as he wanted. 

When he looked up, Seth stared at him for a few empty seconds before he ran his thumb over Neil’s lips and made him suck off the excess mess. His face was stone cold. There was no empathy for Neil in his eyes, no pity, no regret for what he’d just done. He only looked angry, still, but Neil wondered if he was angry at himself. 

“We’re done here,” Seth said, turning his back. “I don’t have to warn you not to tell anyone, do I?”

Without waiting for a response, he left, and Neil slumped to the floor. 

He cried silently for a little bit, tears streaking down his face, before he gathered himself and got up. 

He knew he couldn’t claim it wasn’t consensual - Neil might have told himself he didn’t want it, but he did, despite all the warning bells and the loud protests in his head. And he’d enjoyed it, despite how disgusted he was with himself. Maybe the trick was to embrace it - just let go, and not think about anything else but the pleasure. Maybe then he could endure it. 

Whatever the case, he knew the next time Seth wanted him, he wouldn’t stop it. 

Neil cleaned up any evidence of his and Seth’s presence in the locker room and returned to the dorms alone. He couldn’t sleep that night, staring at the ceiling and trying hard to think of all the twisted reasons why he was willing to accept this. 

He could pack up and run right now, but that would only look suspicious. He could tell Coach about Seth, but if he did, one or both of them might get kicked off the team, and then the Foxes wouldn’t be big enough to be considered a team at all. And even after all this, even though it wasn’t safe, Neil still wanted to play Exy. He wanted to be on that court. He wanted to play with Kevin Day. 

In the end, Neil could only settle on one reason. One thing his mind whispered to him that told him why he was willing to let Seth push him around. And why he liked it. 

There was a part of him, deep down - or maybe not so deep - that was just . . . dark. Darker than he wanted to let anyone see.

Dark, and broken a long time ago, and probably fucked for life. 

But if he let it out, if he let this arrangement with Seth be an outlet for it, maybe he could let it go.

*

It was a few days before Seth touched him again. 

It was long enough that Neil knew Seth was purposely ignoring him just to drag him on a line, to make him keep thinking about it, to make him wonder when it was going to happen again. Neil hated him even more for it. 

But when he thought about it too much, he went into the bathroom and got himself off almost violently. He played aggressively in practices with the team. He was tense and angry over the next few days, and everyone could see it.

Of course, no one thought twice of Seth’s belligerent attitude, because it was what they expected of him.

But with Neil, they asked questions. Dan was concerned. Kevin asked him what was up. Andrew looked mildly interested. Matt was careful around Neil in their dorm, and he glanced back and forth between him and Seth whenever they were in the same room, like he was waiting for a bomb to go off. Allison pulled Seth aside more than a few times to have hushed conversations. 

Finally, Neil and Seth found themselves alone again in their room. Matt had looked weary of leaving them alone together, but Neil promised him it was fine, told him he could handle it. Matt had told Seth not to be an asshole before he left. 

When he was gone - he wouldn’t return for hours, spending the day with Dan - Seth locked the door. 

At the click of the lock, Neil’s stomach tightened in anticipation. He tried to keep his breathing even. 

Seth approached him where he was standing by the couch in the living room, crowding him up against the back of it. He leaned close to Neil’s face. 

“I’m gonna fuck you,” he said, bluntly, no heat or passion behind it. Just fact. Neil didn’t expect him to ease into it or be gentle with him just because he was a virgin. At the non-reaction he got, Seth leaned even closer and put his lips to Neil’s ear. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard, and I’m gonna teach you how to take dick like a good little slut. You’re gonna be nice and quiet for Daddy. Got it?”

Neil’s spine tingled, and he shuddered, his eyes falling shut. When he didn’t respond again, Seth squeezed his cock punishingly. 

“Got it?” Seth repeated, his voice harder. 

“Yes,” Neil ground out. 

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Daddy.” God, Neil hated him. He hated every part of him. He didn’t pity him for whatever Seth had gone through in his past to make him like this, didn’t feel any sort of sympathy for whatever darkness he was fighting. Neil was fighting his own darkness, and he had too many of his own problems to care about Seth.  _ Seth  _ was one of his problems.

But he didn’t have to like Seth to like the way he made him feel. That was what Neil had told himself all through the last couple of days, while he waited for Seth to approach him again. He didn’t have to like Seth at all. 

He was going to forget about Seth the person entirely, and only think about him as a means of sexual gratification. He was just a thing for Neil to use for his own demented pleasure. And Neil was a thing to use for him. 

They were objects to each other, a means to an end, and nothing more. 

“Go to the bedroom and take your clothes off,” Seth said, pushing Neil in that direction. Neil went, wondering what Seth had in store for him. His stomach was tight. He’d never had sex before. He knew it would hurt - Seth wouldn’t go easy on him. But Neil wasn’t going to protest. He wasn’t going to say no. 

Still, he knew he had limits. And he needed to make sure Seth would respect them, in spite of everything. 

When Seth came into the bedroom after him, Neil was down to his underwear, his arms crossed tightly over his chest to cover his scars. He’d done his best to keep the rest of the team from seeing them so far, and he didn’t really want Seth to see them now, either. But Seth barely seemed to pay attention to them. Neil knew he wouldn’t ask questions and wouldn’t tell anyone else on the team - Seth didn’t care enough about him to do that. 

“If you want me to have sex with you, you have to use a condom,” Neil said. Seth rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not an idiot,” he said. 

“And I want a safe word.”

Seth raised an eyebrow at that, but he shrugged. “Whatever. Just say stop if you want me to stop.”

“And you will?”

“I might.” There was a mean glint in Seth’s eyes.

“If you push me too far, Seth, this is over. I don’t care who you tell or what you do,” Neil said, only half meaning it. He didn’t want Seth to tell anyone his secrets, but he cared about his personal wellbeing a little more than that. 

“Shut up and get on the bed,” Seth said as he pulled his shirt over his head. Neil glared at him, but he did, laying on his back in the middle of Seth’s mattress. But Seth shook his head. “No. On your stomach. Get on your knees, arch your back and spread your legs.”

Neil felt himself burning with shame at the exposed position, but it was actually easier this way so he didn’t have to make eye contact with Seth. He buried his face in the pillow, grabbing the corner of it with one hand. 

He heard Seth’s movements and felt the bed dip behind him as he knelt by Neil’s ass. Neil gasped when Seth slapped him without warning. His ass stung, but it was a minor pain, nothing compared to the blows he’d grown up with in his childhood. Seth rubbed the spot, and then spanked him again, reaching underneath him to grip Neil’s cock when he whimpered a little. 

“What did I say about being quiet?” Seth asked. “If you’re loud, I’ll gag you with something. But I bet you’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you? Fucking whore.”

Neil bit his lip and closed his eyes when Seth stroked his cock, urging him to full hardness. When he was stiff and starting to drip on the bed, Seth took his hand away, and Neil heard a drawer opening and shutting, the snap of a bottle cap. A second later, he felt an intrusion at his hole as Seth pushed his finger against it. Neil gasped again and clenched on instinct. Seth pushed harder, until his finger slipped inside Neil. 

“Fuck, that - ” It was uncomfortable, at first, and a little bit painful, but Seth didn’t give Neil long enough to focus on the odd sensation. He twisted his finger around, moving it in and out, and it turned from an intrusion into a welcome pressure that made Neil tremble, his knees shaking underneath him on the bed. 

“Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” Seth growled. “You’re so fucking tight. My cock is gonna make you nice and loose. You’ll be so full you’ll be screaming for it.” He grabbed Neil’s cock again with his other hand and teased the head of it. “But you’re not allowed to scream, are you?”

“No,” Neil said. 

“I bet you’re such a little cock slut. You’ll like it so much all you’ll want to do is be a nice, pretty cock warmer for Daddy.”

Neil’s heart sped up, and his skin flushed red with embarrassment. But he was warm, too, and pleasure mixed with humiliation. 

Seth added another finger, stretching Neil wider, and there was a burn followed by a blooming feeling of warmth. Neil bit the pillow to keep from moaning. There was no slowness about it - Seth didn’t bother taking his time, his fingers moving fast and hard. He took them out abruptly after a few minutes, while Neil’s cock hung abandoned, and then Neil heard the tear of a condom wrapper. 

Neil tried to reach for himself to relieve some of the pressure, but Seth shoved his hand away. “No. You don’t come unless Daddy tells you to. Ever.”

Neil groaned in frustration when Seth grabbed his arms and brought them behind his back, holding his wrists together. Neil knew he could break Seth’s grip, but he didn’t. 

Seth nudged the head of his cock against Neil’s hole, and Neil shivered. He’d never felt anything like this before, and he’d never imagined it would feel like this. 

The head of Seth’s cock pushed past his rim. The fingering hadn’t been enough to loosen him up completely, because the stretch still hurt a little. Seth let out a moan when Neil squeezed around him. 

“Such a tight ass,” he said, inching in farther. “But look at you, opening up for me. I knew you were a slut.”

Despite himself, Neil  _ was _ opening for him, trying to relax to invite Seth’s cock in even more. The thickness enveloped his whole body, making warm, soft pleasure shoot through his veins. It hurt, but it was a good kind of pain, the kind that was followed by a pleasurable release of endorphins in his brain.

Seth shoved inside him, until he was all the way in. Neil cried out into the pillow. 

“Make one more noise and I’ll gag you,” Seth warned. “You won’t be able to say stop.” Neil moaned again on purpose. Maybe it would be good if he was gagged. With a hard chuckle that wasn’t friendly, Seth pulled Neil’s head back by the hair, ripping the bandana he was wearing off of him. “You asked for it, then.” He took the orange bandana and tied it tightly around Neil’s mouth, the knot secure at the back of Neil’s head. “Good boys are quiet when they’re being used.”

And with that, Seth started fucking him. There was nothing gentle, nothing caring or considerate about it, and he didn’t touch Neil’s cock, keeping Neil’s wrists pushed against his back. Seth grunted as Neil clenched around him, and he set a faster pace. Neil just closed his eyes. 

Unconsciously, his hips moved back to meet Seth’s hard thrusts. His cock twitched and dripped onto the bed, red and aching. His fingers flexed as he pushed against Seth’s grip on his wrists, dying to touch himself. He whined into the cloth around his mouth, hating the sounds that came out of him. 

“I wonder what everyone would think if they knew what a fucking whore you are,” Seth said darkly, his hand gripping Neil’s hip with bruising fingers. “Wonder if Nicky would fuck you if he found out how well you take cock. I’ve heard Day swings both ways - maybe he’d fuck you. We could all get in on it. I bet you could take three of us at once.”

The thought jumped into Neil’s head, of himself under Kevin Day while Kevin fucked him. He wouldn’t be like Seth. He would be gentler. 

Neil didn’t know why he was thinking about that. 

“You take my cock so well.” Seth leaned over him, pushing himself deeper into Neil. “Such a pretty little slut, gagged and still begging for it. Imagine how much prettier you’d be with three dicks inside you?”

Neil moaned, and even though he was gagged, he hoped their neighbors weren’t home. 

He was anticipating being sore tomorrow, and he knew he’d be paying for this at practice over the next few days. He’d have to learn to hide it well. 

Seth shuddered, and that was Neil’s only warning before he came. Neil felt him fill the condom inside him. Neil hated to admit that Seth was right - the fullness he felt was a feeling he could get addicted to. He didn’t think he had the words to describe why, and that bothered him. It was just comforting, fulfilling, made him feel sort of like he was floating somewhere above his own head. He was stuffed up, used to the warm cock filling him now. He remembered how it had felt in his mouth and wondered if Seth would fuck his face again. 

This was dangerous. It had been dangerous from the beginning, a bad idea no matter which way Neil spun it, but God, this was . . .this feeling was incredible. He imagined how much better it would feel with someone he actually liked, and Neil’s spine curled pleasantly.

“Good boy,” Seth said as he gave a few more slow, leisurely thrusts. When he pulled out, Neil felt loose, open and utterly empty, devoid of warmth. He curled up on the bed when Seth finally released his wrists, sliding the bandana off so he could breathe easier. He still hadn’t come, and he wasn’t expecting for Seth to get him off, so he would wait until he could get in the shower. 

But Seth turned him around and pushed Neil to his back. He jerked him off with a few rough strokes - it didn’t take long - and gathered Neil’s come on his fingers before he raised his hand to Neil’s mouth to feed it to him. 

“Say thank you,” Seth said, his face hard as he watched Neil suck on his fingers. 

“Thank you, Daddy,” Neil whispered, sliding his eyes away from Seth’s. 

Seth pulled his fingers out of Neil’s mouth and wiped them on a shirt on the floor. “Congratulations. Now you’re not a virgin. And now you know you do swing, judging by how good you are at getting fucked.”

It was a parting shot meant to wound, and it did, even though Neil didn’t want it to. 

He’d never cared about the concept of his virginity before, but it was too late now. Seth would always own the memory. 

And he was fairly sure he still didn’t identify as gay, one way or the other, but he was clearly turned on by . . .whatever he and Seth were doing. That made him something. 

He would torture himself going in circles thinking about it and trying to attach a label to it, so Neil shoved it from his head. Seth didn’t look at him as he left the room to claim the shower first. Neil got out of his bed quickly, picking up his clothes from the floor and tossing them into the hamper along with the orange bandana. 

Now that it was over, he felt the aftereffects of pain, a sharp pang when he bent over. He winced. He was definitely going to pay for it at the next practice with the Foxes. 

But as long as nobody asked questions, and as long as he and Seth could hide this secret for as long as they kept it up, it didn’t matter. 

Nothing mattered except getting rid of the toxic storm of emotions in Neil’s head. And he would use Seth to unleash his demons until they were gone.

*

“We’re going to Columbia,” Nicky told Neil a few days later, approaching him in the locker room. 

“I’m not going,” Neil said. He would never go anywhere with Andrew and the monsters again, not after what Andrew had done to him the last time. 

Neil was still recovering from last weekend, when Andrew had tried to force his secrets out of him at Eden’s Twilight by drugging him. He’d been violated, and it left Neil reeling. Andrew had grated on his nerves from the moment they met, and now he was Neil’s enemy. Andrew, careless on his medication, hadn’t apologized for what he’d done, though Kevin had tried. But Neil wouldn’t hear it. He was done with all of them. Matt was the only one of the Foxes now who he could even come close to trusting. 

“We’re all going,” Nicky said gently, gesturing to the locker room at large. “The whole team. Even Seth and Allison.”

Neil very carefully did not react to that. As far as he knew, Seth and Allison were still in an ‘off’ stage in their relationship. 

“No one’s gonna touch you again, Neil.” Kevin had sidled up to him, and he spoke quietly. He nodded to make it a promise. “You’ll be fine. We won’t bother you.”

Neil didn’t know if he believed that. Andrew had been watching him lately - he could tell - and he’d made several comments that had gotten under Neil’s skin. Neil wanted to stay away from him. He was alone on this team, but he’d always been alone, and it was nothing new. He hadn’t been hoping to make friends with any of them. 

Matt was trying, to his credit, and Dan was friendly. So was Renee, though she unsettled Neil in a way he couldn’t put his finger on. But the rest he could do without. Kevin, though, was complicated. 

Kevin kept hold of Neil’s gaze. Neil recognized the dark look in his eyes that meant they’d both been through similar situations and survived. He sighed. 

“Fine,” he relented, ignoring Nicky’s smile. “But I’m not drinking.”

“No one’s asking you to,” Kevin said. 

And so, against his better judgment, Neil ended up at Eden’s again, standing at a table covered in glasses under the flashing lights. He and Seth were the only ones at the table; everyone else had found their way out onto the dance floor except Andrew, who had disappeared somewhere else. 

Seth looked at Neil across the table, sipping his drink slowly. Neil was trying to ignore him, but there must have been something in the air. He was tense, and his skin felt too tight. He knew he wouldn’t find a satisfying release from anywhere or anyone else except Seth, and he despised it. It had gotten to that point now, where whenever Neil needed to relax, he couldn’t without Seth’s particular brand of torture. Only a few days ago, he’d been frustrated, upset about something he couldn’t remember now, and Seth had made him get on his knees under his desk while he did homework. He’d made Neil hold his cock in his mouth, not doing anything, just kneeling there motionless. Eventually, Neil’s head had fallen onto Seth’s thigh, his dick warm and heavy on Neil’s tongue, and his frustration had disappeared. Seth made him stay there until his homework was done an hour later, and by then Neil was sore, but he wasn’t upset anymore. He’d been pliant and submissive when Seth jerked off on his face, covering his eyelids, cheeks and nose with come. 

They were walking on a minefield, but Neil couldn’t find his way out. 

He knew he would have to, eventually - it would have to end. Soon. But neither of them were done with each other yet. 

Seth moved around the table, taking his almost empty beer bottle with him. No one who knew them was close enough to see him lean in to speak lowly into Neil’s ear. “There’s a room upstairs. Wait five minutes and make sure no one sees you.”

A knot formed in Neil’s stomach, but not a painful one. 

Seth disappeared. Neil calmed his heart, slowed his breathing. He’d suspected Eden’s might be that kind of club, of a special use to the people who asked for it, though it was subtle. He looked around, peering out onto the dance floor to see if he could spot the Foxes. They were all occupied - Nicky was dancing with a guy, Matt and Dan were wrapped up in each other, Allison and Renee were dancing together, and Aaron and Kevin were by the corner, talking, heads bent close, drinks in their hands. Neil couldn’t see Andrew, but he didn’t care wherever he was. As long as he stayed away from Neil. 

Neil counted to five minutes, and then he found the stairs leading to the second floor. He walked up quickly, so none of his teammates would have a chance to look over and see him. There were four private rooms upstairs in a dimly lit hallway. All of the doors were shut except one, and Neil peered inside. Seth leaned against the wall. Neil stepped into the room and shut the door behind him, locking it. 

The room was sparsely decorated, the walls mostly bare, painted a deep shade of gray. There was a bed against the farthest wall from the door, a nightstand table next to it, and that was it. Neil barely looked at Seth as he went to the bed and started to undress. 

“Wait,” Seth said. Neil stopped and turned to him, a question in his eyes. Seth’s face was serious. “I’m gonna tie you up tonight,” he said. He nodded to the nightstand, which had a single drawer. “There are supplies in there. Rope and handcuffs.”

He paused, waiting for a reply from Neil. Neil recognized it for what it was - a warning, and a chance for him to say no. But he didn’t. The prospect of being restrained, giving Seth total control over him, was intoxicating. It shouldn’t have been. But there was nothing Neil could do about his desires now. He’d passed the point of no return the minute he’d let Seth lay hands on him the first time. 

He turned away and finished undressing, baring himself completely. He left his clothes, underwear and all, in a pile by the bed, and heard the sounds of Seth unzipping his pants and sliding them off as Neil got onto the bed. It was comfortable, at least, and it looked clean. Neil tried not to think about how many people had probably used it before them, but the sheets smelled like they had been washed recently. Neil wondered if Roland, the bartender, was in charge of it, or if the job fell to the manager or owner of the club, whoever that was.

He laid on his back, not shy about exposing himself to the air. Seth stood in his boxers, but he was holding his jeans in his hands, reaching into the pocket. When he looked at Neil, there was a dark, hungry gleam in his eyes. 

“I’ve been thinking about using this on you for days,” Seth said in a low tone, pulling something out and hiding it from Neil’s view for a minute. “Wanted to see how you’d squirm and beg when I put it on you. But you’re gonna let me, and you’re going to be a good boy for Daddy, aren’t you?”

Neil didn’t even know what it was, but he nodded, his cheeks flushing. Seth stepped closer and brought the object into the light. Neil’s mouth went dry. 

He’d never seen one before, but he was smart enough to figure out what it was pretty quickly. It was a small, curved silver cage, with a tiny gold lock attached to the clasp. 

A cock cage. 

His dick twitched at the sight of it, and he made a small sound in the back of his throat. Seth opened the drawer to the nightstand as he set the cage on top of it. He pulled out lube, black ropes, and black padded wrist and ankle cuffs. He moved slowly, like they had all the time in the world, though Neil knew eventually their teammates would start to wonder where they were. 

This was dangerous, doing this here. Any one of the Foxes could find them. Allison, or Matt. Andrew or Kevin. Then it would all be over. Neil would never live through the shame of it. The humiliation. None of them would understand if he tried to explain himself, and they wouldn’t care. They would just look at Neil and Seth together and think they were both messed up beyond fixing. 

And yet Seth moved like they had hours to spare. Like no one else in Eden’s knew who they were. And the thrill of it was making Neil shiver.

Neil let his arms and legs be spread out; his wrists and ankles were cuffed and attached to the ropes, which were tied to the four short posters at each corner of the bed. Seth left him room to move, but he couldn’t escape unless Seth undid his bonds. Neil thought there’d be initial panic, but there was none. Only anticipation. 

Seth took the cage, opened it, and squeezed the two sides shut again on Neil’s cock, constraining it and leaving it to rest over his balls. The metal was cold and Neil gasped, squirming and moaning a little when Seth’s fingers brushed his skin, then biting his lip when his cock started to harden already, straining against the tight cage. Seth had the small key - he made sure to show it to Neil before he put it on the nightstand, where Neil couldn’t reach it. 

“You only get to come tonight if you’re good for me,” Seth said, walking around to the end of the bed where Neil’s ankles were tied. “If you’re an obedient little slut and you let me use your hole how I want, you get to come inside the cage. If you do it without permission, I’ll punish you. Make you choke on my fucking dick until you cry.”

Neil’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t speak. 

Seth watched Neil for a minute, exposed and naked and vulnerable, until he reached down and flicked Neil’s cock through the cage, making Neil wince. 

“You probably love this,” Seth said darkly. “You’re just a fucking hole to me. A slut who loves being used. Maybe I should go without a condom tonight. Pump all my come into you and leave it there. Plug you up with it.”

“ _ Daddy _ .” The word escaped Neil’s lips without his meaning for it to, and he bit his lip to keep from speaking again, turning his head away as his face burned. He wouldn’t let Seth come in him - not without both of them being tested first, but there was no time for that. But God, the thought filled him with lust. With aching desire. He wanted to know so badly how it felt to have someone come deep inside him, without a barrier. Seth had turned him into this, this person he didn’t recognize, and Neil wished he could disappear into himself. 

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Seth said, poking Neil’s cock through the cage again. “You’d fucking love it. So much you’d beg me for it. You want Daddy’s come?”

“Yes,” Neil said through his teeth, his body aching, his skin warm. 

“I could, you know. Did you forget Abby tests us all regularly? To make sure we’re well enough to play.”

Neil froze. Somehow he  _ had _ forgotten that Abby, the team’s doctor, made all the Foxes get tested for STD’s or any other kind of disease that would hinder them from playing in the season. Neil had learned that during his first week here - every month, the Foxes had individual sessions with the doctor to run through the routine tests and checkups. 

“I know you’re clean, ‘cause I’m the only cock you’ve ever taken,” Seth said. “But I’m clean too. So yeah. I think I’ll come in you tonight. As much as I want.” He leaned forward, closer to Neil’s face, and pinched his nipples lightly. “I’m gonna cover you in it like the slut you are.”

He tortured Neil’s nipples until his cock was as hard as it could be inside the cage, painfully tight against the metal. The ropes pulled as Neil tugged against them, and the bed creaked. He moaned. Seth had taken his underwear off now, his cock out, and he stroked it over Neil’s chest. He made Neil wrap his lips around the head and lick it, and then brushed the wet tip against his nipple. Neil’s cock was starting to drip, but his pleasure was stunted by the cage. He whined in frustration, and it set a heat going in Seth’s eyes. 

Seth put his hand on the side of Neil’s head and turned it so he could slide himself all the way into Neil’s mouth. He kept his hand there to keep Neil’s head from moving as he fucked his throat, using him to get off. Neil choked more than once. His cock ached. His fingers curled against his palms, nails leaving indents in his skin. Seth pulled out, only to put his thumb on Neil’s chin to make him open his mouth so he could take his come. It spilled messily over Neil’s stuck out tongue and down his chin, dripping down his neck. Seth stroked his cock again and released another shot on Neil’s face, his head lifted back to the ceiling and his eyes closed as he moaned. “Fuck. That’s it. Take all of it.” A third shot fell on Neil’s chest. Seth nudged his swollen head against Neil’s lips and made him suckle the rest of it. “Oh, good boy. Bet you’re dying to come, aren’t you?” He patted Neil’s cheek a little too hard, and Neil grit his teeth, but he was in a half-delirious state of pleasure, so his annoyance melted away almost instantly. 

His skin was sticky, and he felt dirty. But he wanted more. 

Seth picked up Neil’s cock, weighted heavy by the cage, and rubbed his thumb into the small opening at the tip, eliciting a whine from Neil. 

“Ask me for permission,” Seth demanded. 

“Can I come, Daddy?” Neil asked without looking at him, a lump forming in his throat. “Let me, I need to - ”

Seth let Neil’s cock drop back against his balls and stepped away. “No. Hold it.”

He observed Neil thoughtfully for a minute, but Neil refused to look at him. After a second, Seth reached over to grab the beer bottle from the nightstand. He’d finished his drink and taken it upstairs with him. 

“I’m gonna fuck you with this until I get hard again,” Seth said. Neil’s heart sped up. The bottle had a long neck, smooth and glassy, and an opening with several ridges. It was longer than Seth’s cock. Not as thick at the top, but it got thicker as the neck widened, and Neil didn’t know how far Seth was intending to put it inside him. But the thought alone was enough to make his cock twitch inside the cage. 

Seth coated his fingers in lube first and opened Neil up, stretching his hole without any protests from Neil. He couldn’t resist because his ankles were tied, and he wouldn’t have tried anyway, though Neil tried to raise his knees and his thighs trembled. Seth shoved three fingers in him and twisted them for a minute before he took them out and poured lube on the bottle. 

“Oh yeah, you like that,” Seth said with a malicious grin when he pushed the lip of the bottle against Neil’s rim. Neil clenched immediately, but he shuddered with pleasure, and his cock dripped a steady string of pre-come from the cage. “Open up for it. God, you don’t care if it’s a cock or any random object, do you? You just want your hole filled. Look at you.”

Neil rarely spoke when they were together. Didn’t bite back, didn’t return any of Seth’s filthy talk with hateful comebacks of his own. He wanted to, sometimes, but it wouldn’t do him any good. Seth’s talk was part of it, part of their wicked game. Neil let the words roll through him and burn him up. 

Seth pushed the bottle harder against him, and with a small cry from Neil, it slipped past his rim and inside him. 

The pressure was unlike anything Neil had ever felt before, and he moaned embarrassingly loud, turning his head into the pillow. “Oh God, fuck, that feels - ”

“Good, doesn’t it? Tell Daddy how much you love it.”

“I love it, Daddy, thank you, thank you so much, it feels so good,” Neil babbled senselessly, his eyes watering as Seth pushed the bottle deeper into him and twisted it. He didn’t shove it too hard, and he went slow, but that made it all the more torturous. 

“What a good little slut you are for me,” Seth murmured, stroking his cock with his free hand. He let the end of the bottle rest on the bed. “Fuck yourself on it.”

Neil did as he was told, moving his hips to get the bottle deeper inside him. The bed creaked as he pulled harder against his bindings, and his cock strained in its cage. He couldn’t get the bottle deep enough, not to where he wanted it, so it would hit that spot inside him that Seth had first introduced him to the other week. He whined in impatient frustration and glared at Seth, but Seth took no pity on him, watching Neil struggle with a hungry, dark glint in his eyes as he slowly stroked himself back to hardness. His eyes flickered to Neil’s dripping red cock.

“Remember what happens if you come before I tell you to,” he warned. Neil groaned and let his head fall back against the pillows, closing his eyes. He pushed his hips harder, and the bottle went a little deeper. He was almost there. Fuck what Seth said, he needed to come - 

But suddenly the bottle was gone, pulled out of him without warning. Neil winced at the popping sound it made when it slipped past his stretched rim. His sudden emptiness made him cry out in desperation, handcuffs clicking as he pulled against them. 

Seth shoved between his legs and slid his bare cock into Neil’s hole, and Neil’s eyes shot open. He gasped as Seth pushed all the way inside him, hard and warm. He missed the glassy stiffness of the bottle. Seth fucked him hard, gripping Neil’s knees to spread his legs even further apart, until his muscles stretched and burned. His cock weeped pre-come, aching for release, and the cage was starting to hurt now, but Neil knew he would get no sympathy from Seth. 

And he didn’t tell him to stop. 

He lay there, powerless to do anything as Seth used him. He was just a hole to fill, a body to fuck. Just Daddy’s playtoy. Neil’s eyes fell closed again, and he lost himself. 

When Seth came inside him, spilling deep in his hole, Neil knew he was never going to forget the feeling. His entire body warmed, heating up, and he shook his head, making a broken whimpering sound. Seth came more than Neil was expecting, and this was a different kind of fullness than the bottle. It was wet and warm and indescribable. 

“God, your ass is fucking incredible,” Seth said. “Meant to take a dick like this.”

Seth fucked his come back into Neil, slowly, messily. Neil felt it spilling out of him - he was too loose now, too tired to clench and keep it in, though part of him wanted to. Seth’s fingers brushed along his swollen, oversensitive rim. He painted come over Neil’s balls, over his imprisoned cock. He fingered it back into Neil when he pulled his cock out, and then, with Neil’s eyes still closed, he brought his fingers up to Neil’s mouth. Neil sucked greedily, like he was starving. 

“Ask me for permission,” Seth said again, circling his wet fingers over Neil’s nipple. 

“Can I please come now, Daddy?” Neil asked, head turned to the side. His voice was quiet and meek and worn out. It almost scared him, how deeply he’d disappeared into himself in the last several minutes. 

Without a word, Seth reached for the small key and unlocked the cage. The relief of his cock being allowed to stretch back to its full, hardened length almost made Neil cry. His eyes stung, and he made a full-body flinch when Seth’s fingers traced his dick, so lightly. 

Seth undid the cuffs and rope from Neil’s wrists so he could get himself off. But he was too exhausted. Ashamed and embarrassed, Neil couldn’t come. He gave up after stroking himself weakly for five minutes. Seth was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, just watching him. When Neil couldn’t make himself come, he turned his head towards Seth, a baleful glare in his eyes. 

“Help me,” he pleaded, hating himself for it. 

He couldn’t have just gone through all that without reaching his own climax. It was cruel. Seth was mean, a horrible person, but Neil thought he would at least give him this. 

For a minute, Seth looked like he wasn’t going to. Neil trembled, over-emotional. His eyes stung again. 

“Jesus, you’re pathetic,” Seth finally said, pushing off from the wall. He gripped Neil’s dick and stroked him slowly, teasing the crown of his cock, rubbing his fingers around the head. Neil wanted to come now and be done with it. He wanted to clean up and get out of this room and go home. 

But Seth drew it out, edging him for another ten long, agonizing minutes, taking pleasure in watching Neil squirm and whine. When Neil finally came, Seth made sure his cock was aimed upwards, pointed at his chin. Neil felt it land on his chin, dribble down his neck. Seth spread Neil’s come over his naked body, and Neil’s hands were limp at his sides on the bed, his limbs spent and numb. 

Seth got dressed, his back turned to Neil. There was nothing in the room to clean themselves up with, but Neil thought he’d seen a bathroom at the end of the hallway. He hoped it was empty. He hoped the other Foxes weren’t wondering where he and Seth were. 

His whole body just . . .ached. In a pleasant, soothing way that Neil hated, because he hated the person who had brought him to this point. 

“I’m done, Seth,” he said quietly, staring at the ceiling. No more. Never again. Not with him. 

“Okay,” Seth said blankly. 

Neil didn’t have to ask if his secrets would be safe. For some reason, he knew Seth wouldn’t tell anyone what he’d threatened Neil with. Neither of them would ever speak of this again, and they would both go to the grave with it. 

Seth, as it turned out, would go to the grave a little earlier than Neil thought. 

*

They’d both gotten what they wanted from each other. When they left the club that night, having washed themselves off separately and returning to the Foxes’ table at different times, Neil could feel it. He wasn’t chased by demons. At least, not as many as there had been before. He wasn’t haunted by his own desires. He felt like he’d let go of something. 

He was still in a semi-conscious, half-dazed state when he went downstairs, and he stumbled on his feet at first on the way down the stairs, but he tried to hide it as best he could. Kevin looked at him with concern and Andrew eyed him suspiciously, but Neil ignored them. As they left Eden’s together, Seth looped his arm around Allison’s waist. 

Two weeks later, Seth was dead. 

Neil knew it was his fault, but he was empty of the guilt that should’ve come with that revelation. His thoughts spun out of control in his head - Riko Moriyama, his father, Kevin. Seth had overdosed in the bathroom at Eden’s, slumped over a grimy toilet. Neil had received a phone call. Kevin had pulled him aside frantically, eyes wild. Neil was unresponsive to all of it. 

Seth was dead. 

He breathed, in and out, in Andrew’s car. 

Something unraveled in his chest. 

He breathed, in and out, in the twins’ house in Columbia. He should run. He’d been planning to run from the beginning, and in the back of his mind, he knew he should go now. He was to blame for Seth’s death, he knew. The excuse of the overdose was flimsy. He remembered Riko’s voice on the phone. 

Andrew pushed something cold and sharp into Neil’s hand. When Neil looked down, he saw it was a key. 

“Whatever it is,” Andrew said, tipping Neil’s chin up so their eyes met, “let it go. It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

Andrew’s attitude had changed towards him in the last several days, and Neil didn’t know why. He stared at the blonde man. It wasn’t that easy. It would never be that easy. 

Neil gripped the key in his hand, curling his fingers around it until the teeth bit into his palm, focusing his mind. 

“Stay,” Andrew said, directing Neil towards a chair in the living room. 

Neil sat. 

Andrew went outside, and Neil closed his eyes. 

He breathed.

**Author's Note:**

> next months fic will be KEVIN/ALLISON which is another ship i've always low key pined for and wanted to write!!


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